grotle:

if you want to find the biggest asshole at a party, leave a acoustic guitar out

poopflow:

roughrimjob:

meladoodle:

she got a pussy like the grand canyon

dry and sandy

possibly filled with dead bodies 

tennants-companion:

so I was forced to go to church and all these babies were screaming and I said “we wouldn’t be having this problem if the church supported abortion” and the guy next to me almost had a heart attack

officialdogblog:

procrastinators are able to do 30 minutes of work in 8 hours and 8 hours of work in the 30 minutes before it’s due

(Source: circumcisions)

ussawesome:

when you spell a word so wrong that spell check is like i dont know what to tell u man

holymoleculesbatman:

physics teacher: you can’t be attracted to something without it being attracted back to you

me: are you sure about that

cantankerouscrab:

hi hello if you’re reading this i hope something good happens to you today

danbutt:

• no
• one
• cares
• that
• you
• queued
• that
• post

cockringtoss:

are we sure oxygen is real… has anyone actually seen it

my-kala:

verticurl:

I don’t mind being alone, I just hate feeling alone

The most accurate thing I’ve ever read